The Circle of Becoming: Self-Discovery •Becoming • Purpose

They say millennials are some of the most purpose-driven people alive.

We’re the ones setting boundaries with our parents, getting into therapy, starting side hustles, choosing conscious parenting, and fighting like hell to break generational curses.

But what they don’t talk about enough… is the trade-off.

Because let me be real with you — healing from generational trauma comes with a cost.

You give up your silence, your suppression, your survival tools.

You give up the version of yourself that knew how to keep the peace even when your soul was screaming.

You give up being understood by the people who raised you, because you’re now becoming someone they may never get to meet.

And in return?

You get peace. Maybe not overnight, but eventually.

You get clarity. You get boundaries. You get the ability to raise your child without putting your wounds in their lunchbox.

But baby… that trade-off? It’s not light work.

Parenting Through It, In Real-Time

I was mid-thought, typing out this very blog, when my toddler started to have a meltdown.

He was trying to get his crackers from the bottom of a zip bag and couldn’t reach them.

Frustration took over — he started fussing and caught a little tantrum.

And I had to pause.

Not just my writing — but my reaction.

I stopped and got down to his level.

“Baby, you know the words,” I said gently. “You can say, ‘Open please.’”

He’s heard those words before. He’s learned them from Ms. Rachel.

But now, I have to show him how to apply them in real time — in moments of frustration, when his little world isn’t going how he wants it to.

Because it’s not just about the crackers.

It’s about learning how to name our needs.

It’s about emotional regulation.

It’s about parenting in real time, even when all you want is a moment to finish a sentence.

That’s when it hit me — even this is part of the trade-off.

I don’t get to parent from default.

I don’t get to yell or shut down or say “because I said so.”

I’m retraining myself, mid-meltdown, mid-exhaustion, mid-lifetime of learned behavior.

The Hidden Weight of Healing

That’s what makes this healing season so heavy.

Because while everyone’s clapping for your “soft girl era,” your gentle parenting, your conscious motherhood — they don’t see the emotional taxes being paid in the background.

The big trade-off is this:

While we’re breaking cycles, we’re also breaking down — often in silence.

We’re trying to do it better, but with less:

• Less support
• Less sleep
• Less community
• Less tolerance for what no longer serves us

From Food Bank to Front Door: A Modern Survival Shift

But there’s another side to this trade-off, too. And that part deserves acknowledgment.

I remember walking to a food bank just to get through the week.

Sweating.

Pushing a stroller down a busy highway.

Trying to figure out how I’d carry groceries and my emotions at the same time.

Now?

I can open an app, compare prices, find a discount code, and have groceries delivered to my door.

That may seem small to some — but for me, that’s a full-circle moment.

We may not have the aunties and grandmas next door like our parents did…

But we do have access. And access is power.

We’ve got Care.com when we need help with child care.

We’ve got remote jobs that let us raise our kids without punching a clock at someone else’s building.

We can rent cars, order dinner, book therapy, or plan playdates — all from our phones.

Even birthdays are different now.

We don’t always have the time or energy to host the parties our parents pulled off.

But we can book a play space, invite a few friends, and celebrate with ease — without the pressure of performing.

We’re Not Weak. We’re Evolving.

We’re emotionally overloaded — yes.

But we’re also innovating.

We’re parenting while healing.

We’re breaking cycles with one hand while juggling survival with the other.

We’re using the tools we have — apps, delivery, flexible work, online community — because doing it “the old way” would crush us.

That’s not weakness.

That’s wisdom.

So if you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got…

If you’re using every app, every naptime, every ounce of energy to hold it all together…

You’re not behind.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not failing.

You’re mothering in a way your inner child would be proud of.

The Final Reminder

This road comes with real weight — but you are carrying it with more grace than you give yourself credit for.

Keep going.

Use every resource.

Trust your process.

Because the trade-off?

It may be heavy…

But it’s holy.