It was a regular night. I was in the shower, finally ready to give my hair a wash after weeks of wearing it in cornrows. I’d been putting it off, you know—life, exhaustion, survival mode.
As I started taking my hair down, something unexpected (and heartbreaking) happened.
Ball after ball of hair started falling into my hands.
It didn’t stop. I stood there, stunned. Watching pieces of my crown fall away.
And that’s when it hit me—I’m stressed. Like deeply stressed.
I had been functioning through it. Working. Parenting. Smiling. But my body was screaming, and I wasn’t listening. That night, I promised myself I would. I started researching how stress shows up in our bodies—specifically for Black women—and how we can begin healing.
So here I am, sharing what I’ve learned with the hope that if you’re walking through something similar, you’ll know you’re not alone… and that healing is still possible.
Many women notice changes in hair, weight, mood, and energy long before they connect these symptoms to stress and hormonal imbalance — but chronic stress can affect both body and mind in ways most of us don’t talk about.
1. Hair Loss: Stress and the Hair Growth Cycle
Hair is sacred in our community. But stress—especially chronic stress—can cause telogen effluvium, a condition where hair sheds at an accelerated rate.
This isn’t just a vanity issue. Hair loss can trigger grief, shame, and a sense of losing part of ourselves.
Common signs include:
- Thinning edges
- Bald patches
- Excessive shedding in the shower or on your pillow
Reframe: Your hair isn’t failing you—your body is signaling that it’s overwhelmed. Let that be your cue to slow down.
2. Weight Gain and the Cortisol Response
When cortisol (your stress hormone) is elevated for too long, it can slow metabolism, increase cravings for sugar and carbs, and lead to inflammation and weight gain.
This often shows up around the midsection and is particularly common in Black women managing PCOS, thyroid issues, or hormonal imbalances.
Reframe: Your body is not betraying you. It’s adapting to stress the best way it knows how. Show it love, not punishment.
3. Mood Swings, Anxiety & Emotional Burnout
Many of us are living in survival mode.
The constant need to be “strong” makes it hard to rest, feel, or ask for help.
This can lead to:
- Sudden irritability
- Depression masked as “just tired”
- Over-functioning in some areas while emotionally shutting down in others
Reframe: Mood shifts are valid responses to prolonged stress. You’re not unstable. You’re just tired—and tired deserves rest, not shame.
4. Chronic Health Challenges Linked to Stress
Common stress-related conditions include:
- High blood pressure
- Heart disease
- Fatigue
- Autoimmune disorders
- Sleep issues
We often ignore the signs until they scream. But stress is a slow-burning fire. And sis, we don’t have to wait until it consumes us.
5. “Strong Black Woman” Syndrome and Emotional Cost
We’ve been taught to be strong—but no one told us how to be soft. How to rest. How to feel safe enough to say, “I’m not okay.”
The “strong Black woman” trope is survival, not self-care.
And it’s time we unlearn what no longer serves us.
Reframe: You’re allowed to be strong and soft. Brave and tired. Capable and in need. You don’t owe anyone your invincibility.
So, How Do We Heal?
Start With Self-Compassion—and a Plan
One of the most affirming resources I’ve come across is Self-Care for Black Women by Oludara Adeeyo.
It’s a gentle, affirming guide packed with over 150 exercises, journal prompts, and grounding techniques made specifically for Black women navigating stress, microaggressions, and burnout.
Why it resonates:
- It acknowledges our lived experiences
- It helps you build routines that fit real life
- It prioritizes peace in manageable ways
A Simple Self-Care Routine You Can Start Today
👉🏽Pause
Acknowledge how stress is showing up in your body. Hair falling out? Can’t sleep? Mood swings? Start there.
👉🏽Choose One Ritual
Pick one gentle activity to ground you—like meditation, journaling, a warm bath, or simply saying “no.” One small win at a time.
👉🏽Create a Safe
Space mentally or physically. This might look like setting boundaries, playing soft music, lighting a candle, or sitting in stillness.
👉🏽Repeat
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s practice. And with practice comes peace.
Final Word
That night in the shower shook me. But it also woke me up.
Stress had been robbing me of my beauty, my peace, and my body’s natural rhythm—and I refused to stay numb to it.
Hair loss, weight gain, emotional burnout—it’s not just happening. It’s speaking.
And you deserve to listen.
You deserve to heal.
You deserve to be soft, seen, and supported.
Let this blog be your invitation to do just that.
The Circle of Becoming: Self-Discovery •Becoming • Purpose 
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