The Circle of Becoming: Self-Discovery •Becoming • Purpose

There are seasons when desire feels louder — stronger, more urgent, harder to ignore. Many women experience this in cycles, moments when longing, attraction, and emotional hunger surface all at once. But desire alone isn’t dangerous; it’s what happens when it goes unnamed and undisciplined that leads to confusion. This reflection explores how instinct, discernment, and discipline intersect — and how learning to recognize these seasons can help us redirect desire toward clarity, purpose, and self-respect.

Those seasons aren’t imagined — they’re embodied.

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Mating season isn’t just for animals. Women experience it too — every month, our bodies go through cycles where desire intensifies, hormones rise, and fertility peaks. Science explains it with words like “ovulation,” but every woman knows the feeling: that pull, that warmth, that craving for closeness.

I want to pause here and be honest: I didn’t always understand this.

My mother often gave into her desires, and it kept her from raising us with the stability she may have wanted. Because of that, we were bounced from home to home. My great-grandmother was the one who spiritually prepared me for hardship — she showed me how to stand in faith when life felt overwhelming. But as much as she prepared me for trials, no one prepared me for womanhood.

So I had to learn it on my own.

I share this not from a place of having all the answers, but from lived experience. My hope is that what I’ve learned along the way can serve as guidance for you too — the kind I didn’t always have. And now, instead of struggling alone, we get to finally talk about these things together.

Biology Meets Reality

Just like in nature, cycles and instincts play a powerful role in how we move. When a lioness is in heat, she instinctively seeks out the strongest lion — the alpha of the pride.

Women experience something similar. Some are drawn to good and decent alphas, others to the rough ones. And then there are the men who pretend: they perform strength, act like protectors, but later reveal themselves as weak providers with wounded egos. These “beta performers” vanish once they’ve gotten what they came for, leaving her with the weight of broken promises.

This is the danger of mating season. When desire clouds discernment, women ignore the warning signs. The ego wounds. The lack of stability. The absence of true love or commitment. She sees it, but her body says, “I need this,” and she moves forward anyway. Soon she finds herself lying with the very man who was never safe to begin with — sleeping with the enemy of her peace.

The Bible warns of this: “For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:6–7, KJV). That scripture is heavy, but it’s also eye-opening. It shows how easily women can be taken advantage of when desires aren’t tempered with self-control and discipline.

Desire Isn’t the Enemy — Lack of Discipline Is

The answer isn’t to bury or deny our desires. They are part of us, and they can’t simply be ignored. The body will continue to whisper, “I want,” whether or not we acknowledge it. But wisdom teaches us how to handle those whispers with care.

Discipline reframes desire. Instead of saying, “I have needs,” and allowing those needs to dictate our actions, we can say: “I understand my cycle, I recognize these feelings, but I will not let them rule me.”

This isn’t about deprivation — it’s about freedom. The freedom to choose wisely. The freedom to wait for a man who truly embodies the qualities of a protector, a provider, and a partner, rather than falling prey to someone performing strength while hiding weakness.

And What If He Never Comes?

But here’s the harder question: what if the wait is long? What if that man never comes?

That’s when we must remember — desire is energy. And energy can be redirected. The same nurturing force that longs to connect can also build, heal, and transform.

• There are hundreds of thousands of children who need homes.
• Widows and orphans who need tending to. Homeless neighbors who need food, dignity, and love.
• A world of beauty and possibility waiting to be explored.

When we stop viewing desire only as a call to mate, and start seeing it as raw energy, we realize we can channel it into legacy. Into creating change, building community, serving others, and leaving a mark that goes far beyond romance or reproduction.

The Balance of Power and Purpose

Mating season is real — and powerful. But so are we. When we combine self-awareness, discipline, and purpose, desire stops being a trap and becomes a teacher. It reminds us that our bodies are alive, our hearts are open, and our energy is abundant. The choice is ours: will we spend it blindly, or invest it wisely?

When handled with care, desire doesn’t diminish us — it elevates us. It moves us from prey to powerful, from restless to purposeful. And in that balance, we find freedom, clarity, and the ability to truly leave behind a lasting legacy.

Moment of Reflection

Take a moment to sit with this:

• When in your life have you noticed desire clouding your discernment?
• How might you begin to see your desire not as a trap, but as energy that can be redirected toward purpose, legacy, or service?

Write your reflections down — be honest with yourself. Awareness is the first step toward wisdom.

Your Turn to Act

Sis, you don’t have to walk through these cycles alone. This is why I created The Circle of Becoming — a community for women who are ready to heal, grow, and break cycles together.

✍🏾Share your reflections in the comments or in your own journal, then take the next step: join our circle. Together, we talk about the things we were never taught, we strengthen each other in faith, and we create space for legacy.

Your journey matters. Your healing matters. And your seat at the table is already waiting.