The Circle of Becoming: Self-Discovery •Becoming • Purpose

Sometimes our emotions don’t wait for a quiet room or a soft moment — they demand release right then and there. When emotions surge, you can feel like you’ve lost control, like words and reactions move through you before your mind can catch up.

If you’ve ever felt that way — whether in an argument, a moment of stress, or even in public — you’re not alone. What I call a “crash-out” is that moment when your reaction comes faster than your reflection. In this post, I’m sharing how I learned to catch myself earlier, build emotional tools, and protect my peace instead of letting reactions rule the moment.  

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What Is a Crash-Out?

A crash-out is when emotions take over so strongly that you lose control. It’s the moment you stop thinking logically and start reacting purely from your triggers. Maybe it’s disrespect, unfairness, or someone attacking your peace. Whatever it is, that trigger flips the switch — and the protector inside shows up ready to fight.

For me, that protector could be belligerent, loud, even cutting with my words. I’ve said things that could break someone down to the core. And then later? I felt guilty, because I had allowed someone else’s actions to make me step outside my character.

Why Crash-Outs Feel Valid but Cause Harm

Here’s the truth: sometimes the crash-out feels valid. In the heat of the moment, your reaction makes sense. But here’s what I had to learn — valid doesn’t always mean beneficial.

Every time I lost it, I wasn’t really winning. I was giving away my peace, my power, and my presence of mind. And the more I replayed those moments, the clearer it became: I was moving off of triggers, not wisdom.

How to Check Yourself Before You “Check Out”

The turning point came when I learned to pause and check myself before I “checked out.” That meant slowing down enough to ask:

• Is this worth my peace?
• Is this worth my future?
• Am I reacting to the situation or my trigger?

Those questions became my grounding point. Instead of letting the crash-out define me, I started building what I now call my emotional toolbox.

Building an Emotional Toolbox

An emotional toolbox is full of strategies to help you pause before things spiral:

• Take a breath. A few deep inhales and exhales can reset your nervous system.
• Step away. A quick walk, a drive, or even moving to another room can create space to calm down.
• Write it out. Journaling what you feel keeps the emotions from bottling up.
• Call someone you trust. Sometimes just voicing your feelings to a safe person diffuses the intensity.
• Reach out for support. If you feel like you have no one to talk to, call 988 — the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7.

These tools don’t erase the trigger, but they help you respond from wisdom instead of reaction.

Final Thoughts: Protect Your Peace

I’ve learned the hard way that crash-outs don’t solve the problem — they only make it worse. The real power comes in staying in control of yourself, even when someone tries to pull you out of character.

So if you’ve ever been where I’ve been, know this: you can move from crash-out to calm. You can protect your peace, honor your growth, and model strength that isn’t loud but rooted in wisdom.

You’re Not Alone

If you’ve ever struggled with emotional triggers or felt yourself slipping into a crash-out, you’re not alone. Healing takes practice and tools. Over on The Circle of Becoming, I share more stories, strategies, and resources for women learning to protect their peace while navigating motherhood, relationships, and self-growth.