A reminder that single motherhood doesn’t diminish worth — it reveals strength, discernment, and purpose

So here we go—another chill Saturday night. Jamel is running around our home, full of energy, laughing and playing like it’s his job (and honestly, it kinda is). I finally get a moment to breathe, and I feel that familiar pull—maybe I want to talk to some adults tonight.

Fellow introverts, y’all know the vibe—when you’re craving connection but on your own terms.

Before motherhood, a night like this might’ve ended at a lounge somewhere, sipping something smooth and just being out in the mix. But now? The Clubhouse app is about as social as it gets for me these days. Lol.

So I start scrolling, looking for something to tune into. And then I saw it…

“Are men the prize if he chooses a single mother?”

Now, whew. This ain’t just a Clubhouse topic. Kevin Samuels, SheraSeven, and a whole host of influencers have stirred up the internet with hot takes about “high value,” “marketplace worth,” and the infamous who’s the prize conversation.

Listen, I became a single mother while dating a single father—something I usually avoided. But I made a conscious choice to carry life, even when things with the father didn’t work out. And I don’t regret that decision. What I do reject is the idea that my status as a mother makes me any less worthy of love, partnership, or respect.

Here’s the thing—I actually do believe a good man is a catch. And I also believe that a good woman is the prize. It doesn’t have to be either/or. But when these conversations start painting single mothers as damaged goods or less deserving of love, that’s where I draw the line.

Let me be clear: I’m not actively dating, and honestly, I don’t have the bandwidth for it. But when I do go out and end up in conversation with a man, I keep it light. No number exchanges. No IG handles. Just a genuine “It was nice to meet you.”

Why? Because in just 15–30 minutes of conversation, I usually learn all I need to know. And most of the time, I don’t see any real value he could add to my life. That’s not shade—it’s discernment.

Now, here’s the kicker: even in those moments, I never forget my worth. That man wanted access to me. He asked for my number—I declined. He asked for my social—I respectfully declined again. Because access to me is earned, not assumed. My child doesn’t make me less. If anything, motherhood has made me more—more intentional, more discerning, more rooted in purpose.

And yet, single mothers are often judged unfairly online, where conversations about worth, value, and relationship potential dominate. Too often, motherhood is treated as a disqualifier instead of the evidence of strength, discernment, and depth that it actually is.

It’s time to set the record straight.

In Closing…

Kid or no kids, a woman who knows who she is will always be the prize.

So let me say this to every single mother reading this right now:

Your child does not make you less.

Your past does not erase your value.

You are not baggage. You are life-bringing, story-carrying, strength-walking magic.

That man who asked for my number? He wanted access.

And I said no.

Because I know who I am.

Kids or not—I’m still the prize.

And if you’re reading this as a single mom—don’t let the internet fool you. You’re not less than. You’re not used up. You are a living, breathing example of resilience, love, and purpose.

And baby, that is a prize.

Remember …

Society will keep trying to measure our worth by outdated standards, especially on social media where hot takes often lack compassion. But single mothers aren’t liabilities—we are leaders. We are nurturing, discerning, powerful women doing the emotional and physical labor of raising the next generation.

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