A reminder that single motherhood doesn’t diminish worth , it reveals strength, discernment, and purpose

So here we go… another chill Saturday night.

Jamel is running around our home, full of energy, laughing and playing like it’s his job (and honestly, it kinda is). I finally get a moment to breathe, and I feel that familiar pull… maybe I want to talk to some adults tonight.

Fellow introverts, y’all know the vibes , when you’re craving connection but on your own terms.

Before motherhood, a night like this might’ve ended at a lounge somewhere, sipping something smooth and just being out in the mix. But now? The Clubhouse app is about as social as it gets for me these days. Lol.

So I start scrolling, looking for something to tune into. And then I saw it…

“Are men the prize if he chooses a single mother?”

Whew.

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The “Who’s the Prize” Debate …And Why It’s Missing the Point

This not just a Clubhouse topic. Kevin Samuels, SheraSeven, and a whole host of influencers have built entire platforms around hot takes on “high value,” “marketplace worth,” and the infamous who’s the prize conversation. And somewhere in the middle of all those takes, single mothers got caught in the crossfire.

Here’s where I land: I actually do believe a good man is a catch. And I believe a good woman is the prize. It doesn’t have to be either/or. But the moment these conversations start painting single mothers as damaged goods or less deserving of love , that’s where I draw the line.

And sista, if you’ve ever felt the sting of that narrative, I need you to hear this: the problem was never you. The problem is a framework that was never built to honor you.

💬 Reflection: When’s the last time you let someone else’s opinion define your value? What would it look like to release that standard and return to your own?

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My Choice, My Story …And Why I Don’t Regret Either

I became a single mother while dating a single father; something I usually avoided. But I made a conscious choice to carry life, even when things with the father didn’t work out. And I don’t regret that decision.

What I do reject is the idea that my status as a mother , and now a single mother , makes me any less worthy of love, partnership, or respect.

So regardless of the season I’m in, I won’t forget my worth. My child doesn’t make me less. If anything, motherhood has made me more. More intentional. More discerning. More rooted in purpose.

And that’s not a consolation prize, sis. That’s called growth.

Reflection: What has motherhood revealed in you that wasn’t visible before? Write it down. That’s your testimony.

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Ciara Was Russell’s Dream Girl ,And That Changes Everything

So many women want to know the prayer Ciara prayed for Russell Wilson. And I get it … their love story is beautiful. Accorded to atlantablackstar.com, Ciara ended her engagement to Future in 2014, just months after welcoming their son together. Seven months later, she met Russell. They married in 2016 and built a blended family that the internet genuinely roots for.

After the wedding, Ciara shared that she had prayed specifically for a God-fearing man who would love her son and walk life’s journey with her. And God answered.

But have we stopped to consider that Ciara was also Russell’s dream girl?

Russell recently appeared on the Baby This Is Keke Palmer podcast and shared that just three days before he met Ciara, he was at church with his pastor, heard a sermon on non-negotiables, went home, and wrote down five qualities he wanted in a woman.  And for Russel …Three Days. Later , Ciara walked into his life.

His list? A woman of faith. Faithful. Independent. Someone similar to his mother. And a woman who tilts the room when she walks in.

He also said he wanted a woman with her own identity , not just someone who wanted to be “Russell’s wife,” but a woman who had her own vision, her own purpose, her own thing she was building in the world.

And then Ciara , a single mother navigating public scrutiny, healing from a broken engagement, and raising her son , walked in and checked every single box.

Russell wasn’t settling. He was recognizing.

Had Ciara not done the work on herself, she may not have been in a position to receive him. If she had stayed in cycles that didn’t serve her, stayed spiritually scattered or emotionally unavailable, she might’ve missed her moment entirely. The healing, the prayer, the becoming that’s what positioned her to walk into a room and be seen as exactly what a man of that caliber had written down and prayed for.

So yes , Russell was a good catch for Ciara. And Ciara was Russell’s dream girl. Both things are true. And the reason both things are true is because she did the work.

💬 Reflection: If the man God has for you wrote down his non-negotiables today, would your current season of becoming prepare you to walk in and check those boxes?

What’s one area of growth you’re still working through?

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Single Mothers Aren’t Liabilities

Society will keep trying to measure our worth by outdated standards, especially on social media where hot takes often lack compassion. But single mothers aren’t liabilities! We are nurturing, discerning, powerful women doing the emotional and physical labor of raising the next generation.

Kids or not — We are the prize.

💬 Reflection: Where have you been shrinking to make someone else comfortable? What would it look like to take up the space you actually deserve?

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To Every Single Mom Who Dropped Her Crown

Let me speak directly to you for a second.

If the internet has had you questioning your value, close the app! If a man’s opinion made you feel like your child is a strike against you, let that thought go! If you’ve been quietly carrying the weight of feeling like too much and not enough at the same time , I see you.💕

Your child does not make you less.

Your past does not erase your value.

You are not baggage. You are life-bringing, story-carrying, strength-walking magic.

You may have dropped your crown for a moment. That’s human. But sista…it’s still yours. Pick it back up.

You are seen. You are valuable. You are becoming.

And baby, that is a prize.

💬 Reflection: What does it feel like to say out loud … “I am still the prize”? Practice it. Mean it. Then say it again.

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“You are seen… You are valuable.. You are becoming.“